I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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