I don't usually arrange sex via text message
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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