I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
