so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
dude. I can hear the air.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
