I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
