I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
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