I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
His hands were made for my vagina.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
