You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
