I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
