talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
