My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize