Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
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