Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize