I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
