If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
