so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
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I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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