Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
