I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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