my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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