I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
