we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
