Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
