The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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