and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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