would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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