there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
