i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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