I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
