To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I have aggressive nipples.
You don't make any sense
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