Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
