Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
