what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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