you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
sarcasm needs its own font
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize