Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Bring me that man meat
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
