I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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