Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
