i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
