As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
