you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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