ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
