Duck Duck Cougar?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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