it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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