Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
