you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
