i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
