I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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