Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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