I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
