holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
