yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
