vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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