there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
