i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Everything about him screamed your future.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize