Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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