No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
