i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
