by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize