If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
