So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
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I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
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he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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