After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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