names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
