All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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