The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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