and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
